Sadly, ending a relationship with an ex where children are involved can result in coercive control in co-parenting relationships. 90% of domestic abuse survivors experience continued harassment, stalking or abuse after the relationship has ended. Co-parenting with an abusive ex-partner is problematic and extremely draining as the abusive parent may perceive co-parenting as an opportunity for continuous abuse.
When you are subjected to this type of behaviour it is exceptionally damaging and it can become increasingly difficult to have a co-parenting relationship with an abusive ex-partner as it often requires some form of communication to discuss any childcare arrangements. If you are co-parenting after separating from an abusive partner, it is important to look out for the signs of coercive control below.
Signs of coercive control in co-parenting
- Interrupting the time you spend with your child by non-stop texting and calling to speak with them.
- Consistently failing to collect or drop off your child on time.
- Purposefully refusing to look after your child when you have important plans.
- Speaking badly of you to the children, this can influence the way your child acts/behaves towards you (parental alienation).
- Making threats when child arrangements do not suit their schedule.
- Criticising or undermining your parenting ability.
Protect yourself and your children by:-
- Keeping communication limited. Where possible communication should relate to child arrangements only.
- Using Parenting apps and Communication Books to reduce conflict.
- Documenting everything: keep a record of abusive calls, messages or threats as evidence
- If possible, have someone else present at handovers. Ask a friend or family member to oversee meetings.
Contact us
If you have been denied contact with your child or if you are experiencing any of the above behaviours, we are here to offer professional legal advice. If you would like any further advice, you can book your 30-minute initial consultation with a member of our team.